I have a deeper understanding now of why I need a Dom. I need someone not willing to be the strong guiding force in my life, but someone who needs to be that, as much as I need to have it.
Two halves of a whole.
Two sides of the same coin.
We showered this evening and for the longest time, you only allowed be to stand in your arms.
The water was hot, I reached to lower the temp, but you forbid me. You said, you knew that I liked the sting of the burn. You said I needed it, my body needed to relax. I was too tense, thinking too much, struggling to hard and that I needed replenishing.
I relaxed in your arms.
You tipped my chin up so I would look at you, you said how deeply you wanted to care for me. I felt a bit like a pet in that moment, but... it wasn't a bad feeling. I felt like a cherished pet. i've rarely felt like a cherished anything in my life.
Finally you allowed me to bathe.
I took the loofa and the shower gel, working it fast and hard across my skin until you placed your hands atop mine.
"I am learning much about you."
I looked up, unsure what I had done wrong.
"Slow down." You took the loofa from my hands and slowly worked over my arm in small circles. The sensation was entirely different. My skin tingled. I became aroused.
You brushed past my breast.
I sucked in a breath, wondering if perhaps this was all just a way to get to touch me. I'm confused. You speak in that deep slow voice, telling me what I had done wrong that day, the food, the writing, allowing the others in my life to press in. Allowing them to take my serenity.
You work your way down my body with the loofa, scrubbing, tantalizing, making me needy for so much more, but miraculously, I feel myself relaxing. I feel myself letting go of the day, of the responsibilities and the worries.
"See? This is what a good caring Dom does for his sub. Your worries are mine. Your pleasure is mine. Your needs are mine to meet. I don't do it because I have to, I do it because it brings me astounding pleasure."
I am speechless.
You rinse the scented suds from my body. You cup my face in your hands.
"Tomorrow, you will eat."
You give me permission to forgive myself for today.
You sink to your knees.
My head is in that weird place, all my senses heightened.
You place my leg over your shoulder, somehow balancing me so I don't fall.
Your tongue takes one long slow pass over my pussy and I shiver. I can't believe how close I feel to coming, you've just barely touched me.
You look up, call my name. "You may not come until I say so. I want to taste you, fill myself with you. You will allow it."
I am breathless. I nod.
You speak my name in a warning tone and I know instantly what I've done.
"Yes Sir."
You smiled and go back to me, eating me, pleasuring me. I grab onto anything I can to keep my balance while the hot water runs down my back and your tongue pushes inside me.
In minutes, I'm shaking and shivering trying not to come while you fuck me with your mouth and stick your fingers in my ass, fucking it too.
It's more than I can bear. I need to come.
My leg begins to wobble. You reach up and hold me tight. You suck on my clit, biting, I cry out. You laugh against my pussy and press your face harder against my clit.
I can't take it another second. I know I'm not allowed to come, but good god!
"Now baby, come now."
I split apart. Partly for the physical ministrations, but more for the mind fuck.
I love it.
I want it.
I crave it.
Your tongue stills. You catch me as I start to wobble and pull me down into your lap, holding me close.
I'm exhausted.
So sleepy.
I can't think.
Can't take in all the things you've said, you've done. I need to sleep.
You kiss my head and help me out of the shower, drying my body softy then you run lotion over my skin. You tell me how much it pleases you to care for my body, then you order me to sleep.
We'll talk more later.
I hope so, because I am utterly confused... albeit sated. ;-)
