I feel lost in moments.
I feel adrift.
I want to know what I did wrong... yet I know the answer was nothing.
It was timing, it was a lack of passion, it was that I won't settle in my life every again.
Still, I've never felt that depth of connection to another living soul as I did with him.
I wasn't in love with him, but he owned a piece of me. A piece of me that had searched eternally for a home. A piece of my soul that thought it had found that home... but didn't.
I will go on... this will not crush me, but will I find another Dom?
I don't know. I'm not ever going to settle for any man in my life who's not good for me, who doesn't respect me, who isn't passionate about me.
I am submissive.
I am not weak!
I don't know if there will ever be another, but I do know that there will be a hole in my heart, a piece of me never fulfilled without one.
Domination and submission is so misunderstood, even now, my friends don't know how to comfort me. They can't understand the depth of connection I've severed. They don't understand the pain I feel. My heart is broken open and my soul grieves, but I wouldn't take back a single moment. He taught me so much. He led me on a path of discovery that I never would have found alone. The relationship was odd and it was short, but it changed me and for that, truthfully, I am grateful.
I will never forget him and I will never be able to repay what he gave me.
I only hope someday, I find another so my soul can be whole.
